Friday, September 11, 2009

Speaking of Zombies


Love 'em or hate 'em, they're ala mode. Zombieland, while it looks entertaining, doesn't strike me as much of a thinking person's film. Tracing zombie roots to Voodoo isn't all that hard, but western culture has captured the fiends and created ghouls of its own for decades--undead monsters that deviate from the classic slaves of a powerful bokor (sorcerer). Although the Romeroesque zombies have been the fodder for the horror biz since the "ghouls" first stumbled up to a secluded farmhouse in the late '60s, they've received a few upgrades since gnawing on those chicken bones...a few wear track shoes and learned to sprint...others started to think (and remember).

A few questions still haunt me...late at night...when I'm thinking too much.

1. Why don't zombies eat each other? They obviously don't care that much about sanitation (just look at them) and are pretty indiscriminate about what they put in their mouths. I'm sure somebody has cooked up the "virus doesn't taste good" or "don't eat their own kind" argument, but that's just lame. In the real world, the whole zombie problem would probably be over in a few hours after the outbreak, just after they devour each other. The National Guard can wait around and pick off remainders.

2. Although popular, the whole "brains" idea is too restrictive. Zombies want meat. Brain meat is hard to attain. (ever try cracking that nut?) One would think the mindless rabble would simply chomp down on the convenience food...each other (see #1) or a nice juicy thigh with no bones to get in the way.

3. Why, if most living people caught by the horde are devoured, does the size of the zombie mob keep growing? It's not as though they take one bite, decide you taste bad, and move on to the next shrieking victim. I've watched plenty of disembowelings on film; those poor bastards aren't getting back up, even as a member of the undead.

4. Running zombies? Are you kidding? Ever try to do a 40 yard dash with rigor mortis? (Don't tell me zombies don't experience rigor mortis...they sure as hell look dead.)

I could go on, but why? Regardless of "reality", zombies are scary as hell and entertaining. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief just for the fun of it.

Zombie (Lucio Fulci, 1979)

What "reality gaps" are you willing to look past for a good gut-muncher?

1 comment:

Psycho Sue said...

these are excellent questions! I think that they possibly could exclude themselves from their diet because they only crave "living" flesh.

i find fast moving zombies ridiculous also.

well since the outbreak of mad cow disease; the whole concept has become more plausible for me. however rotting meat doesn't last long in heat or cold, so I would have to overlook that fact.